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I don't know why this box is so ginormous, but it is!

Elle the Elephant!

Say Hello (or Hola, Hallo, Oi, Jambo, etc..) to....ELLE THE ELEPHANT!

Oh yes, this is a wooden elephant, named Elle...pronounced El-eeeee. Not that stupid El-aaaa way, which makes no sense due to the spelling.

Behind Elle...I am now realizing I'm the stupid one for not having her name spelled Ellie, thus creating no confusion on it's pronunciation. Aw shucks, too late now.

As I was saying...echem..(that was me clearing my throat)...Behind Elle is a shirt with the Brazilian flag on it. I particularly like this shirt because I have some great friends from Brazil, and Brazilian guys are great kissers so it brings back good memories.

When I bought this shirt I was with a friend, and the shirt was from the guys section so I was totally like, oh I'm getting this for my brother. Haha cuz I'm a dork like that!

So back to the real subject, Elle. I've had this elephant for some time. I'm pretty sure I bought her at Target (coincidentally this shirt is also from there) when she was on sale for like $2.00. Who can turn down a $2 wooden elephant?!

It started me on an elephant liking rampage, although I don't particularly care for the giant rough skinned ones, really just the cute small dark wooden ones. I have since bought a wooden dolphin and another elephant in a lighter tone. Both of which I now hate and regret the purchase of. I tried to start a thing, but Elle is one of a kind.

I have at times considered Elle to be a good luck charm. I brought her with me on a major trip for this reason, and almost brought her on another except I was really low on luggage space and she just didn't make the cut.

I couldn't tell you why she has become a good luck charm, it just happened, and now I love her and take her places, not like out to dinner you freaks, more like tucked away in a backpack now and then. She likes going places, we have that in common. Okay I'm realizing I'm starting to sound completely weird and semi-retarded now so that means time to end this post.

We're lovers not fighters.

I think it's important to note that after I made this post the ad on the next screen was titled.."Brazilian girls!" Thank you google adsense for stalking..I mean knowing me so well

Headboard from Hell

Okay, this is new, I am writing about the one thing I detest most about this room.

The fucking headboard.

Who needs a headboard on their bed if it's up against a wall. This is what I ask you?? I never wanted this damn thing, and after returning from a relaxing week vacation away from my family....I return to this monstrosity having been attached to my bed.

Oh and I'm not being over dramatic at all. This is an atrocity. I move a tiny bit and the whole thing shakes! Try having sex in this bed! It ruins it, I don't want to worry about this heavy chunk of white painted wood falling on my head during intercourse and/or sleep. Good god. Does it come with an insurance policy?

I don't know if I used that term correctly.

Please watch the following video which is shot very poorly but offers some proof to my anger.

I'm plotting how I can get rid of this without suspicion. Accidental fire? No, then my room would probably also burn down and this blog would be rendered useless. (Sidenote: writing that reminded me of a dream last night where I kept lighting the corners of paper on fire and then trying to put it out with my hands...lol) Okay obviously I've exhausted all possible ideas, if you have any please post a comment, this is a tragedy that needs fixing.

Oh and if you're going to be the asshole to say just take it down...that's not an option for several reasons of which I don't plan on sharing.

No more monkeys jumpin' on mah bed!

I speak: English (Fluently) Broken English (Fluently) Sarcasm (Fluently) Spanish (Bueno) German (Obviously not that good if I can't even remember how to say badly)

That's not even random, you have to get the secret message.

Oh Beautiful Thermostat

This is one of the most important things in my room...Why? Because it keeps me in a comfortable 68-72 degree range...to the chagrin of the bill payer in this household.... Must. take. advantage. of. being. an. ass. while. I. can!

Sorry, I like cool temperatures in the heat of the summer. And while I would preferably set the entire house to this climate, that would be costly and my room is compact therefore a perfect Antarctica to my houses South America.

I think that made sense..you know what I mean.

Well, I decided this was high priority because if my room wasn't cold, I wouldn't be in it and then why would I bother having cool shit in here.

Oh yeah so I was planning on doing one post a day, but I have like 5,000 things in here and nothing to do with my life currently, soooooo you get more posts!! Yayy!

Oh and as much as I love what this little thermostat does, I do not understand why it won't stay at 70, and why it quite often pops back up to 78. I must learn how to auto set it...or how to keep outsiders from coming in my room and tampering with it.

Room Revealed

This is a blog about all the things in my room. Yeah, that sounds lame as hell but read on, it's cooler than it sounds.

I woke up today and looked around me, there are so many stories within these four walls. Each object has an origin and some significant meaning. I don't just leave random things strewn about...okay so maybe that's more near exactly what I do, but in general my room is a carefully crafted work of memories. Because seeing those things takes me back to those times. And who doesn't want to revisit their past? Haha just kidding.

Sometimes the memories are better than the experience itself. Which is exactly why I surround myself with those memories. So, you'll get to hear allllll about these interesting artifacts.

Prepare to see my...dun...dun...dun...ROOM REVEALED! (Yeah I totally just did the cheesy reality show intro..deal with it)